The Blessings of Light, Shadow and Connection During The Holidays
by Anarae Silverwillow
This time of year can be hard on a lot of people, and there are friends of mine whose hearts are hurting for various reasons.
I would like to extend a soul-filling hug to everyone and tell you how much you are loved. You are so loved.
We have moments in our lives when we find ourselves walking through the fire, and sometimes losing everything that we hold dear. In time the pieces will mend themselves into a picture more radiant than you can imagine.
And it’s okay to take time to cry, to be alone in our pain, to be nurtured by others, and to be present even amidst the discomfort.
The hurt and grief will transcend into healing. We are whole, and we are more than enough just as we are. There is sacredness in the eclipsing shadows of our soul, and in this place we are never alone.
In this place we find facets of ourselves that are tenacious in their delicacy, and a sweetness in the authentic space of vulnerability.
There was a time when I thought, as the world was crashing all around me, that I would never replace what I had lost. And that is true. What I didn’t realize is the foundation had to break in order to rebuild my life into something more than I had thought possible. Something stronger and sustainable.
What felt like a breakdown was actually a breakthrough. It was messy and unpredictable. At times I felt consumed by others’ opinions of me and struggled with how that reflected the opinions of myself.
Making decisions about where my life was going felt almost impossible, and there were so many times I wanted to give up.
Looking back, I want to hug that woman. Hug the frightened and confused child who was nestled even deeper within and say, “It’s going to be okay.”
Someone asked me once, if given the opportunity to see my future, would I want to know how my life turned out, and at first I said, “Hell Yes!” But during the Perfect Storm that was my life in 2008, what I really wanted to know is, “Will it all be okay?”
I didn’t need to know the inner workings or details, I just needed to know if my kids were going to be okay, and if I will be okay.
It was okay; even when it felt brutal, it was beautiful … or “Brutiful” (as Glennon Doyle Melton says).
This time of year represents a time when our darkest shadows are made present as the earth itself is turning inward. This time of year is our shadow time. The blessing is that the natural course is working through to the light.
Our nights become longer, deeper and darker, but only for a short time. The earth will then move at its own pace to bring the light in once more. There is a lot to learn about the natural cycle of the world, and the seasons themselves work as a guide to our own soul cycles.
Beyond the consumerism that this time of year has become, I feel like what it really represents is connection. Connection to our family and friends, but more importantly, the connection to ourselves.
We are made whole as we allow ourselves to look at the bigger picture of who we actually are. Both the shadow and the light. This time of year, we are given opportunities to experience those facets as we go about our daily lives. And sometimes it’s painful.
We bump into others in the grocery aisles, are stuck in traffic with others as we travel along our path. We feel compelled to lash outward or inward, and feel guilt or shame if we succumb to those emotions.
We are all perfect in our authentic human imperfections. We are here with one another as we float and sometimes tread the unpredictable ocean of life. We are not alone.
I see you,
I hear you,
I feel you,
I love you.
Envisioning radiant light in the deepest of your shadows and a complimentary contrast in your vibrance.
Everything is going to be okay.
In Lak’ech.
(painting by: me)