pema pearls:

It Can Go Either Way
Underlying hatred, underlying any cruel act or word, underlying all dehumanizing, there is always fear: the utter groundlessness of fear. This fear has a soft spot. It hasnt frozen yet into a solid position. However much we dont like it, fear doesnt have to give birth to aggression or the desire to harm ourselves or others. When we feel fear or anxiety or any groundless feeling, or when we realize that the fear is already hooking us into Im going to get even or I have to go back to my addiction to escape this, then we can regard the moment as neutral, a moment that can go either way. 
~ Pema Chodron