3/13/13

excerpt from my book, Feel Good Naked:

Follow your heart’s desire
We all need inspiration in our lives. Music, religion, pictures, poetry, people—whatever our muses may be, they fuel our progress and keep us going when life conspires against us. Whenever I begin working with new clients, I ask them:
-whose physical appearance they would like to have, and why
-whom they admire, and why
-what their dreams and aspirations are
Ask yourself these three questions and then write down your answers. The first question tells me a lot about someone's personal hopes and expectations. Wait a minute, you may be thinking, why promote lusting after a "look" or a body you were never meant to have? Isn’t that the type of unrealistic thinking we’re trying to avoid with the Feel Good Naked lifestyle? Yes and no. Being completely honest and writing down your own personal "gold standard" in terms of appearances can expose some interesting things. For example, I can’t tell you how many large-boned women long for a petite frame. Or how many small women wish they looked like Charlize Theron. The truth is, you can wish for a vastly different body type until the cows come home—but it’s not going to happen. By admitting your desire, however, you can begin to see the physical impossibility of it—and start bringing your goals for your body more in line with what is possible. 
What about that teacher at your son’s school, the one who’s short like you, but always seems to look about five inches taller than she really is because of her impressive posture? Or what about your co-worker who has the hip haircut and quick smile? These are realistic examples of people who you wouldn’t mind looking more like. And the good news is, you can emulate good posture, get a zippy haircut and commit to a ready smile; all of which exemplify the positive impact of living in a conscious, awake, take-charge mind and body. This is also true for celebrities who may not match your body type, but who nevertheless devote time to their own self improvement. I recommend allowing these impressive public figures to become your muse or personal motivators. If I visualize Madonna's arms and concentrated dance movements, I dance better and exercise my arms more thoughtfully and effectively. When I think about Demi Moore’s body in Indecent Proposal, I run farther. When I envision Oprah Winfrey’s before and after photographs, I realize I am not too tired to work out after all. My body type is nothing like these three women, but they inspire me to do my physical best.
The important thing is to find a look you can aspire to that won’t set you up for personal failure or judgement. Embrace a vision of what you’d like to become, remembering that it can be anyone from anywhere. Attach a picture of your physical role model to your refrigerator or bathroom mirror for extra motivation. Allow their image to inspire you. Change the picture occasionally so that when you feel down, your idol’s image can help refresh your empowerment goals. In the same way a vision board is helpful for improving the actualization of a person's career, visualization of someone you admire is a powerful tool for turning your mind/body goals into realities and ultimately helping you feel as good as your muse feels, naked of course.
(photo by Kurt Markus)