It's Memorial Weekend here in the states; I am honoring the memory of my mother who died when I was 16 years old, she was only 42. I am now ten years older than she was when she died and these last two years I have never needed her more, it's made me think about her a lot while also wondering how my life might have differed had she lived. Last night I watched The Dead Mothers Club, a moving HBO documentary http://www.hbo.com/documentaries/the-dead-mothers-club#/. Every female I have ever met who is motherless at a young age has a profound experience of this pivotal, primal loss and what it means to navigate life without her. As Rosie O'Donnell says in the documentary, it's a club that immediately connects two people. I wish I wasn't a member of this club and I wish I had more photographs of my mother, I have less than ten. I stare at these few images often, one of my favorites being my first birthday (above). I've always known that surviving this loss made me strong and provided me with tools to help others, it's no accident that I'm a Confidence Coach. What I'll never know is what my life would have included with her guidance, love and support. Recently my dad showed me a few slides of my mom, I was so thrilled to see that we have the same thighs and hands. Oh what I would give to have those big hands wrapped around me in a tight hug telling me everything is going to be alright. In the meantime, I honor her memory and the extraordinary life she gave me.
