Q: I am an over-whelmed, over-worked,
under-paid, over-weight woman in her mid forties. I have not taken good
care of myself for over twenty years. Am I hopeless?
A: Nobody is truly
hopeless. Anyone at anytime can take control of their choices and their life. This
won't necessarily be easy, but it is always possible. And it will get
easier after two weeks.
Here are my 12 suggestions for taking care of yourself:
1. Learn to air your feelings, even if they're not pretty. Share your frustrations and disappointments with someone you trust. Remember, expressed feelings are changed feelings.
2. Avoid comparing yourself with others. This kind of envy causes self hatred. Put no one's head higher then your own.
3. Form a small group of people you can call on for emotional support. Agree to be there for each other. Offer advice only when it's asked for. Listen without interrupting. Take turns talking and listening.
4. Take time to play.
5. Don't forget to laugh, especially at yourself. Do something silly and totally unexpected from time to time.
6. Learn to relax. You can find books, tapes, programs, classes, instructors and other materials to teach you how to relax. Relaxation improves the mind, helps the body heal and feels so much better than stress and tension.
7. Protect your right to be human. Don't let others put you on a pedestal.
8. Learn to say no.
9. Change jobs if you are miserable at work. However it's smart to remember that most jobs have some unpleasant aspects.
10. Stretch your muscles. Break a sweat. Go for a walk. Ride a bike. Park farther away from your destination. Take the stairs. You don't need fancy clothes, club memberships or expensive equipment to add exercise to your daily life.
11. Practice being a positive, encouraging person. Each time you give others a word of sincere encouragement you not only feel better, but you build up your healthy self-esteem muscles.
12. Pay attention to your spiritual life. Slow down. Practice sitting quietly. Listen to your inner voice. Spend time thinking about the things which bring peace, beauty and serenity to your life. Find the courage to follow your own spiritual path if a traditional religion has not been helpful for you.
Here are my 12 suggestions for taking care of yourself:
1. Learn to air your feelings, even if they're not pretty. Share your frustrations and disappointments with someone you trust. Remember, expressed feelings are changed feelings.
2. Avoid comparing yourself with others. This kind of envy causes self hatred. Put no one's head higher then your own.
3. Form a small group of people you can call on for emotional support. Agree to be there for each other. Offer advice only when it's asked for. Listen without interrupting. Take turns talking and listening.
4. Take time to play.
5. Don't forget to laugh, especially at yourself. Do something silly and totally unexpected from time to time.
6. Learn to relax. You can find books, tapes, programs, classes, instructors and other materials to teach you how to relax. Relaxation improves the mind, helps the body heal and feels so much better than stress and tension.
7. Protect your right to be human. Don't let others put you on a pedestal.
8. Learn to say no.
9. Change jobs if you are miserable at work. However it's smart to remember that most jobs have some unpleasant aspects.
10. Stretch your muscles. Break a sweat. Go for a walk. Ride a bike. Park farther away from your destination. Take the stairs. You don't need fancy clothes, club memberships or expensive equipment to add exercise to your daily life.
11. Practice being a positive, encouraging person. Each time you give others a word of sincere encouragement you not only feel better, but you build up your healthy self-esteem muscles.
12. Pay attention to your spiritual life. Slow down. Practice sitting quietly. Listen to your inner voice. Spend time thinking about the things which bring peace, beauty and serenity to your life. Find the courage to follow your own spiritual path if a traditional religion has not been helpful for you.
